Tender Moment

Sending Chris to Basic Training

Well...I drove Chris to Camp Williams this morning for drill. He leaves tomorrow for his semi-permanent stay is Springville Missouri, for 4 1/2 months and I'm in a state of shock.

5 months...what am I going to do without him?... This morning felt like I was dropping off my little boy to Scout Camp though, haha. He was really nervous and worried about his uniform being on right and not super excited about spending the night away from me. Plus when I asked for a kiss he gave me one of those "mom your embarrassing me" pecks. Sigh...gosh I love that man! These last two weeks have been a blur...we prayed for the time to go by slowly, but in the last few days I couldn't remember what day was what. We were busy running last minute errands and even got into a "we are both anxious and nervous and at our breaking point" fights while packing late Friday night..(didn't like that one bit). In the end Friday we just held each other so close through the night...It was the last time I'll sleep cuddled up next to my sweetheart for quite some time. The morning just came WAY TO SOON. These last few days we did a few fun family things. I made dinner at home just about every night for two weeks which include his favorite dinners like spaghetti, chicken curry, and hobo dinners. It was so nice being home with just the three of us. I cleaned A LOT too. (I do this when I'm anxious) I also have a bad nervous habit of picking at my face and have a lot of scaring from it. Chris must have noticed my anxiety level was up because he took me to the nail salon to get a full set of nails to help break me of that habit...I'm happy to say I have a beautifully clear skinned face these days...it really feels good. Chris also took Jack to build-a-bear to pick out a stuffed animal to be dressed up in army gear. Jack was SOOO cute in the store he loved all of the different animals, but when we got to the kitty cat he GRABBED it and started going, "meow meow" and giving it kisses so that was the winner! Chris recorded himself saying, "daddy loves you Jack". When he played it for Jack we both started crying when Jack looked at the kitty gave it a BIG hug and kiss. Like he was giving his daddy some love. I ache for Chris missing these precious next few months of Jack growing. We just keep saying, "we are stronger than we think." We also went running together late at night at least 3 days a week. It was nice being just the two of us and the stars. I savored every moment I could get with him..

On Thursday we had a little BBQ and one last trip to the temple together before he leaves. It was VERY needed and we are SO grateful we went. It helped calm us down a bit and reassure us we are doing what Heavenly Father want us to be doing

On Friday Chris planned a special date for just the two of us. We went shooting because he wanted to make sure I was comfortable unloading and loading his gone in case of an emergency and because it's just a TON of fun to go shooting =) we went together on one of our first dates and I smoked him and all of his friends...I also did quite well at the shooting range friday too! He also surprised me with dinner at the Melting Pot..oh my gosh YUMMMM! Best dinner ever! And so fun! We talked a lot about how much we were going to miss each other and ways that will help me stay busy. And when we got on the subject of Jack we both just broke down...We were then very shocked when the hostess brought us an envelope that said, "thanks for serving our country" on it with a gift card to the restaurant inside! She said it was anonymous and that a couple had heard us talking and wanted to give it to us. When we went to pay we then found out the gift card was for $100 dollars!! So this covered our entire meal plus some! We were floored and very emotional about it..what good people they must be. We really appreciate it and wish we could thank who ever it was in person.

I also left sweet little notes around the house everyday for the last week, Chris liked that and it made me feel good seeing him happy and smile. I made them myself on word..if you want a copy let me know..they'd be good for father's day I think.

Picking out his furry friend

 Jack was afraid of them stuffing the kitty...he was worried what they were doing to him!

 Chris having a tender moment :(

 Jack giving his new friend some loves and kisses

 Dressing his kitty

 Hobo dinners after church

 NERD!

 Cutie

 Showing everyone how it's done!

I look cool huh?

 Us :)

 Cheese Fondu

 Salad

 Entree

 The nice card we got

 Dessert!

 My soldier

 He's such a stud!

 At the Temple :)

 Just hangin out watching "Top Shot" our favorite show

 Daddy pushing Jack in his new car from his birthday

 After one of our runs, this time with Jack

 Ya Chris bought me a pink pepper spray =)

Day 1: "Thanks for putting some Snap, Crackle, & Pop into my life!" (Rice Krispie Treats.)

 Day 2: "You stole a Piece of my heart!" (Reese's Pieces.)

 Day 3: "You o 'fish' ally have my heart" (Swedish fish.)

 Day 4: "It's a JOY being married to you" (Almond Joy.)

 Day 5: "Just wanted you to know I'm nuts about you!" (Almonds are his favorite.)

 Day 6: "Chris, your Dynamite! You're going to blow everybody out of the water in training! I love you sweetheart!"( Rolo's are inside the rolled paper to look like the dynamite.)

 Day 7: "You are THE apple of my i" (Yes, yes it's an I-phone.) He doesn't know I got this for him yet. Can't wait to see his face tomorrow! I found out we get to talk on the weekends and got it so he could Skype Jack and I.

I drop him off tomorrow for the last time until Sept :/ I just keep praying that I can stay strong for me and Jack and help Chris stay strong and focus during training. I don't want him to worry at all about us while he's gone, though I can't really help knowing he will. If you don't hear from me for a little while it's probably because I've become a hermit..Love B

Grandpa Ewell

Yesterday my dad called to tell me Grandpa Ewell had passed away, though this was no real surprise it was still quite shocking to me. He had been quite ill for sometime and he was becoming very uncomfortable. This worried my dad terribly and my dad made sure to take every opportunity he could to drive or fly down to visit him. My dad was even gracious enough to take my sister Heather, Jack, and I down to see him and have Jack meet him. I love my Grandpa very much, he lived with my family from the time I was in kindergarten all the way through high school. He bonded with my sisters and I and I'm very grateful I got to have him as a "second dad" around the house (though he was more of one of the kids, haha!) He had a special spark about him and was loved by all who knew him. I always felt like he kind of whistled while he talked and had a very infectious laugh. There is so much a remember about him and SO MANY GOOD memories I will keep forever close to my heart. I am so glad Jack was able to meet him, and I am so glad I had my whole adolescent life growing up with him. I talked quite often with Grandpa Ewell these last few months and he always made sure to tell me how special and loved I was by him. In our last two phone conversations we had a special experience together. Grandpa Ewell was ALWAYS singing old tunes and me and him sang together my two favorite songs "Sue city Sue" and "The Bakery Shop" song. With tears running down my face I was able to sing with my Grandpa like we used to in the car on long road trips and in the back yard in our camp chairs. I'm very blessed to have had him to help mold me into the strong woman I am today. And I am grateful I can sing these songs (and I do) to Jack and my future children to keep his spirit alive. In our very last conversation I was busy and trying to hurry around my house to prepare for a party. I asked him if I could call him back later and he very powerfully said, "No please talk to me now." This made me step back and forget everything else that was going on around me. He was very hard to hear and even harder to understand those last few days. But I was able to tell him how much I loved him and that I missed him. And that I wish I wish I could be there where he was. I also told him Chris and my plan to name our next son after him. This REALLY made him happy I could tell by the escalation in his feeble voice. He kept saying "my next grandson?" "my next grandson?". I think he thought I was pregnant (which I'm not), but either way I know he's glad to know how much he means to me. His funeral is May 8th and I'm so glad us three sisters can be there together. I love you Grandpa Ewell and I am so glad Grandma Ewell was there to welcome you home. Families are forever and I couldn't be more grateful for that truth.

Along with a few pictures of our last in visit together I wanted to share the sweet songs we sang..

Sue City Sue


I drove a heard of cattle the old Nebraska way
Thats how I came to be in the state of I-oway
I met a girl i I-oway, her eyes were big and blue
I asked her what her name was, and she said Sue-City-Sue
Sue-City-Sue, Sue-City-Sue
Her hair is red, her eyes are blue
I'd swap my horse and die for you
Sue-City-Sue, Sue-City-Sue
There ain't no gal as true, as my sweet Sue-City-Sue

The Bakery Shop


I walked around the corner, I walked around the block
I walked right in to a bakery shop
I picked 3 donuts out of the grease and handed the lady a 5 cent piece
She looked at the nickel and she looked at me
And said this nickels no good to me
There's a hole in the middle and it's all the way through
I said ay there's a hole in the donut too!

Crafting with the ladies :)

Had SOO much fun crafting with 5 of my favorite people this Friday! Made this cute "Home" sign and we plan on adding on to it for all the other months. These "O" replacer's will last us through August though so I'm looking forward to some other crafts next month!

The FlowerThe 4th of July star (my favorite)

The Watermelon still needs it's seeds :) The Sun!!LOVED making this craft! Went a little "sparkle" crazy!

10:07 PM

At 10:07 PM today our Jack turned one years old. While the thoughts and feelings are fresh in my mind I wanted to write them down.

Today was such a beautiful day, not only because of the weather, but because of all the peace and love that filled our home on our first born's FIRST birthday. I had been praying all week for Jack to feel the love on this special day and to not find his party too overwhelming. He gets a little worried with big crowds and I like to have him always feeling secure in his surrounding especially his home. That is why I only invited a few close friends and family that I knew he KNEW and recognized.

We started off his day by singing "Happy Birthday" to our little snoozer at 9:30am when he finally woke up. I mean why not sleep in on your birthday right? Jack certainly did, he cracks me up! I then gave him a nice bubble bath and he was all smiles and loves. He has been giving me a ton of hugs lately as if to say, "It's okay mom, I'll never be too grown up for you." (I seriously HOPE this is the case.) Due to our busy life I haven't really had much down time to just sit and stew over the fact that my baby's first year has come and gone and that life is moving so much more quickly than ever imagined. This is good because I think I would have been a emotional wreck otherwise. After his bubble bath I made us all mickey mouse shaped pancakes, Jack LOVED them :) I feel complete when I see his smiles of approval. Then for the rest of the day we just kind of relaxed and moved slow, playing with toys, crawling around outside, and just enjoying each other's company. Jack discovered the toy bin today, the look he gave me was so funny, "MOM! These other toys have been here the WHOLE TIME!?". I find this funny because it's been in the same spot for nearly 9 months now haha! But that is him lately, discovering something new EVERY day! I tended the two kids I watch all day so there was a little bit of "sharing mommy" but Jack is a good sport. When they left Jack went down for a nap and I got the rest of the things I needed to done before his party started. He had a nice party and was spoiled with love and gifts! I really do love each and every one of the people who were able to make it and also the rest of you. I love that you love my son and I will gladly share him. Jack was all smiles the rest of the night and his grandma Ewell even gave him a bath after he smashed into his cake. He loves his pretty Grandma, she was so much help to me during the party! Thanks mom!

Jack then went to bed with no fuss and definitely exhausted! Chris and got to tiding up and all of a sudden Chris' phone started going off. It wasn't ringing, but it was an alarm tone. Chris said, "10:07 Jack is officially one." I will admit I crumbled and the tears just started pouring. Not because of sadness, but more because of disbelief.

One year ago today my life was changed for good. Definitely for the better and forever. Forever will I have my family, forever will my name be mom, and forever will I love someone the way Jesus loves me. Unconditionally. "When did he grow up?" Chris said. I feel that small statment just ringing in my head. I don't know when he did, but it happened so so fast.

After Chris and I cried and clung to each other for many minutes we both lead each other to Jack's room picked him up fast a sleep and took turns rocking and cuddling our boy. In that moment I have to share with you the overwhelming love and spirit that was in the room. So strong I felt it heating our whole house. The way Jack looks at me gives me strength to do good and having so many blessings centered around God and our family makes me want to live right all through-out my life. I am so proud he is mine and I feel so BLESSED to be his mom.

Today was better than the best. So glad to share our love for Jack with all of you.

Jack super pleased eating his birthday breakfast
Grandpa Ewell showing Jack how to play games on his tablet
The banner I made of Jack's first year :)
The little treat bags I made for everyone (along with the note that I wrote I made cookies shaped like the letter, "j").
Grandma and her little cowboy
The spread, we had cornbread and chili it was YUMM!
The chocolate milks for the kids
Great Grandma and Jack Jack
Kodee posing in the Wanted poster
Me and my birthday boy

ADORABLE little Belle!

Cole and Lukey :)
I LOVE this picture of all the little kids crowded around new baby Matthew
Jack loves it outside
Opening Auntie Ashlee's present!
He LOVED his new guitar that Kodee picked out for him
Cousing Kyle in Jack's new knight costume from Auntie Heather
Jack playing with his new cars from the Christensen family
Jack's cake
Getting ready to dive in!
I love that he went for the candle first, haha
His signature moves with sweets
We had to keep wiping his nose to breath because of all the frosting!